Our Sweet AJ

So our sweet AJ left us on January 22nd 2013.  It was the day of My Grandma Lo's B-Day and she loved animals more then anyone I know - so it was a good day for her to welcome him home.  (At least that makes me feel better!)  I had known for a while that AJ's time was short with us and Matt and I were about to go on vacation so I decided to do it before we left.  Nothing I mean nothing could have prepared me for how hard this experience was.  Even almost a month later I still miss this cute dog.  I wait for him to greet me when I get home.  I still go to the back door at night thinking I am going to take him potty.  I look for him in our sun spots and on the love sack.  There is a huge void for me.  It is hard to explain...I got this dog when I couldn't have a child and so he was everything to me!  Matt use to come home from work and we would spend hours playing with him.  Matt would get down on the ground and play tug of war with his toys and we would throw his favorite stuffed animal that was a hamster and watch him slid across the wood floor for hours.  He has been at my side for 14 years.  He has depending on me to keep him safe and fed.  Matt and the kids have done much better then me with the emotions of all of this.  I know that time will heal!  Here are some pictures of the kids with AJ.

I know I am smiling, but I didn't stop crying this whole entire day!

My dad went with me to take AJ.  It seemed fitting because he was actually with me when I went to pick AJ up.  It was Christmas Eve and we were picking Matt up from the airport.  (We lived in Wenatchee WA, and I had come home early for the holiday's.  Matt had a very strict boss and wasn't allowed to take much time off.)  When we got to the airport I had AJ with me with a Santa hat on.  Matt knew we were getting the dog, but I think he was a little surprised when I showed up with him at the airport.  (My dad was super sweet to help us pay for AJ.  Little dogs are expensive!!  But don't tell anyone!) :)  He had a special bond with AJ even though he was not a little dog person!  Whenever we had family dinners - AJ always sat under my dad to get special treats.  Even though I told my dad time and time again that AJ had a sensitive stomach. :)  But that was their bond.

What can I say about that day??  Before I left I threw everything away that was AJ's.  I didn't want to come  home and have to do it.  AJ had a little more energy the last few days of his life.  Which was a blessing I am sure - but it made it a little harder for me.  He had been following me around all morning and then right before we left he had made it to his favorite sun spot in the house - our bedroom floor has the most sun throughout the day.  I picked him up and we took a few more pictures then headed out.  He was shaking so bad so we got a blanket and my dad held him the whole ride over.  Towards the end of the ride - I looked over and AJ was sleeping peacefully in my dad's arms wrapped in warmth and the sun was on him the whole way.  He already was in heaven! :)  So we get to the vet and I had tried to chat with my dad about the weather to not think of it.  But when we got out of the car my emotions came over me.  I started to cry and didn't stop until my eyes closed on my pillow that night.  I gave him a last hug and told him how much I love him and what a good dog he was and then gave him to the vet.    Hardest thing I have ever done.  But my dad hugged me and told me how much he loved me.  So I had good support.  He was a great dog!  I will miss him a lot!!